Periods suck. Period.

A couple weeks ago, I'd gotten down to 164; the lowest I've been in about a year. I didn't write about it because I've been under deadlines, but I'm putting it here for context.

I got my period last week, and boy howdy did it ever derail me. I've been an eating machine for over a week, and I'm up a couple pounds. I've been feeling really shitty about it, feeling down and hopeless and that I'll never lose this weight, but today I'm saying fuck that attitude and I'm back on the horse. I seem to be able to let myself lose control when it comes to my hormonal cravings, but as soon as my period is over, I have a hard time letting myself get away with it because there just aren't any excuses left.

I'm pleased to say, at least, that while I abandoned my dietary restraint this week, I did not abandon the gym. I still went every day, which is probably the reason I only gained 2 pounds back instead of 10. I didn't, however, go to the gym this weekend, or last, which sucks. If I don't go first thing in the morning, I get wrapped up in relaxing in front of the TV with Jeremy, and then we get up and get busy on the house. I think this weekend I will have to make it a goal of mine to go at least once. If I can go twice, maybe I'll buy myself something pretty.

I forgot to have breakfast while I was at home this morning, and strangely enough McDonald's seems to have the best options for breakfast if you skip the fatty and fried stuff, so my default Oops-I-Forgot-Breakfast breakfast is an Egg McMuffin without butter, and a small coffee (regular) - 335k/35c/13f/17p. Not bad, all told. For the rest of the day I have fresh raspberries, cucumber slices, yogurt and tuna. Also some clementines and an apple in my desk fruit basket if I so choose.

Two steps forward, one step back.


[166.0]

I'm down again, which is great. However I finally reached my breaking point this morning with cutting out a lot of carbs, and HAD to have a bagel. My god was it good, but now I'm full. I'm not horribly full of guilt because I'll just work it into my daily points, I just hope it doesn't leave me craving more carbs all day.

Last night I went out with a friend for dinner, and though we were in a pub, I mustered the will power to have a grilled chicken salad. It was large and satisfying, and I didn't feel like I was really missing out on pub food by eating it, so yay! It meant that I could some extra beer later, when we went to the Smiling Buddha to see a new friend play his suitcase bass with his bluegrass band.

I had 3 beer and was quite buzzy, and that felt nice since it's been since Thanksgiving that I've not had beer. However, it completely fucked up my sleep, and I'm quite tired today. I suspect that's why I wanted a bagel so badly, being a tick hung over and very tired. The last time I didn't sleep so well I really wanted a bagel too, so I've learned just how important sleep is to my diet. Noted.


[ 166.6 ]

Doing something right

Clearly I'm doing something right, because I'm down another pound and a bit. I'm riding high, and feeling good, so I decide I want to be dressy at work today to give me an excuse to wear these cute new platform slingbacks I bought in the US.

I go into the closet and pull out my nice dress pants, and put them on...and they don't even remotely fit. I can't even get the buttons close to doing up. That was a bit of a wake-up call: even though I'm losing weight at a nice rate, I'm still much bigger than I used to be. The road will be long.

I'll admit that bummed me out, but rather than let it get me completely down, instead I opted for a skirt! This? This is madness. I don't like skirts at the best of times (read: 40 pounds ago), but I was dead set on wearing my heels and dag-nabbit, I'm feeling good today, whether my feet like it or not!


[ 167.8 ]

Self-confidence

It's day 2 of my period, so by all logic I should be bloated, cranky, and heavier than I was yesterday.

Instead I'm not bloated, and I'm happy...because I'm actually LIGHTER. By a whole pound.

Ever since using My Fitness Pal, I've seen dramatic results, so much so that I've canceled my Weight Watchers subscription. MFP is free, and it's working for me, so why not save myself $22 a month and the hassle of having to double track all my food?

I'm over the moon, because for the first time in roughly a year, I weigh less than 170. I can barely remember the last time I was in the 169's...it was at least a year ago. I can't believe I've been at my fattest for this long.

Well NO. MORE.

Today is proof that you CAN do this. Your focus and determination has paid off, and will continue to pay off. You are on your way!!


[ 169.0 ]

Self-doubt

I'm worried that the 5 pounds I've lost have all been lost muscle mass, because I haven't done a Group Power class in over a week due to work deadlines and illness.


Bleh. It feels like whenever I give diet and exercise a real shot, something comes along to derail me. And I'm not making excuses, either; I physically CANNOT handle a GP class right now. So, I guess all I can do during these times is focus on diet--which I can control--and then get back on the exercise wagon when I'm able, right?

On a more positive note, ever since I gave up carbs for breakfast, I've found that I don't crave carbs as much throughout the day. I've been having a yogurt cup and some herbal tea for breakfast, and that's been getting through the mornings. When I'm hungry again I go for fruit, and after that, it's either time for lunch, or I'll have some veggies.

You may not be well enough to push yourself at the gym, but you are able to at least take a walk on the treadmill to get that small bit of exercise in. Then you can treat yourself to the hot tub. Hopefully that helps with the body aches and the stuffy sinuses.

[ 170.0 ]

I stepped on the scale this morning, and was shocked to see that I'd lost again. This is my third serious attempt at losing in my life, and it got off to a rocky start (I think I was over-ambitious, overzealous, pushed myself too hard physically and denied myself too much), but I think I've struck a better balance of exercise and eating well. I don't deny myself ALL of the things I crave, but I don't give into every little whim either. Today my sick self--undoubtedly seeking comfort food, was craving a bagel, but instead I got a ham/egg/cheese sandwich on an english muffin. Not exactly the MOST healthy thing in the bunch, but I saved a few calories and a tonne of carbs by making that switch, and gave myself a protein boost. I have lots of veggies and fruit for the rest of the day, and will have a small can of tuna for lunch if I'm still hungry after the watermelon, raspberries and celery I've packed.

A nice treat for myself has been Perrier. There was a sale on at Sobey's for $11.99 a case (normally $17.99) so I bought two of the grapefruit-flavoured ones, and it's been a refreshing way to get in my water without feeling like I'm forcing down water just to get in all 8 glasses.

I'm not beating myself up for not going to the gym over the last 2 days, because I've been sick! I rode my bike to and from work on Tuesday (heavenly in the fall colours), and to work on Wednesday, but it really hit me in the middle of the day that I was not well and caught a ride home with Jeremy. I stayed home yesterday, and dragged my butt to work today. If I'm feeling up to it (and if the weather holds up; it's been rainy today) I'll ride my bike home at an easy pace, but if not I won't push it and know that I can make up for it later. I think I'll also go to the gym today and just walk on the treadmill, to get a little exercise in without overdoing it, and then treat myself to an extra-long soak in the hot tub. That should do my body good.


I really think you can do it this time. The first five pounds is a milestone that should be celebrated. You know that this is only the first of many milestones to come, and you deserve to feel happy about it. Slow and steady wins the race, baby!

[ 170.0 ]

Tidbits

"Breakfast like a King, Lunch like a prince, Dinner like a peasant."

"Sweat is fat crying."

I signed up with My Fitness Pal just this second. I love the ease of use that Weight Watchers provide, however, I could eat all of my daily points values in carbs if I wanted (and have) and I know that's not the way to lose weight. MFP shows me everything in a number of calories, and has a much more extensive database of the foods I'm eating, particularly by brand, which is extremely helpful. I'm going to use them both in tandem for a while, and see how it goes. I may end up dumping my subscription to WW since MFP is free, and that'll save me $20 a month.

I shouldn't have stepped on the scale today (Mondays are technically my weigh-in day, but I did it yesterday since Monday was a holiday and I forgot), but yesterday I went the entire day barely eating any carbs, and I wanted to see if there was any difference. 

There was.

[ 172.2 ]